


"Mostly Bug Free"

by KillHitlerAgain



Series: Forduary 2019 [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: College, Diary/Journal, Forduary, Forduary 2019, Gen, Humor, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 10:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillHitlerAgain/pseuds/KillHitlerAgain
Summary: Stanford and Fiddleford come up with an idea to rid their dorm building of its bug problem.Written for Forduary 2019 - Week Two: Mind (Invent)





	"Mostly Bug Free"

**Author's Note:**

> What? It's not February anymore? Let alone the second week of February? February is one of the hardest months of the year for me, so I'm surprised I got this far. 
> 
> Thank you to GinAndShatteredDreams for beta reading.

**Entry #1**

 

It is currently 5pm, and I have just finished unpacking my belongings and moving into my assigned dorm room for this year. The dorm rooms at Backupsmore are less than worthy of a letter written home about, aside from the breath of fresh air it brings to be to be two states away from home again after spending the summer in my own room. This year, however, there is at least one bonus to my room assignment: That being that my good friend, Fiddleford, was assigned a room in the same building, just two floors below my own!

 

Of course, with the joy that comes from having someone familiar in the same building, also comes what the world must see as its payment for letting me be happy about a single thing. The building has a, and this is an understatement, very… large bug problem.

 

You see, when I sat through freshman orientation and first heard the dean of students mention “mostly bug free dorms”, I had assumed that he meant to suggest that all of the dorms were equally “mostly bug free”. However, after two years living in two different dorms, I was pleasantly surprised that I had not seen any bugs in any amount that couldn’t simply be written off from the fact that the windows had no screens.

 

Moving into this dormitory this year, however, I realized what the dean had meant by what he said. That is, that by “mostly bug free”, he meant “most of the dorms are bug free, except for one, which is filled with bugs”.

 

I fear the single can of bug spray they gave me in the lobby will not last me to the end of the month. I am currently brainstorming new ideas.

 

* * *

 

**Entry #2**

 

I have discussed this dilemma at length with Fiddleford and he and I have both come to the same conclusion: Something needs to be done.

 

Our first idea was to go the simple route, and flood the building with toxins that could eliminate any living thing inside. However, since it would be best not to kill anyone in the process, this idea would require everyone residing in the building agreeing to vacate the premises for at least a few days. Despite our best efforts, that seems impossible for now.

 

All this means however, is that we must be more creative with our plan. I, personally, have thought of what I consider a brilliant idea: Introducing a deadly virus to the insect population that is infesting the dorm, and watch as it destroys them from the inside. Fiddleford believes this plan is unrealistic, and suggested that we try a more simple idea. 

 

I do not agree with my friend. Simple plans are prone to falling short of their goal. By starting with the most ambitious and complicated plan, however, it will most certainly exceed beyond our expectations! Now, I have some calls I need to make.

 

* * *

 

**Entry #3**

 

    To say that the results were less than satisfactory would be an understatement. Not only has my plan failed, but my idea appears to have made the problem worse than it was when I started. It has taken me hours of pondering to understand where it could have gone wrong, but I think I have come to a reasonable conclusion.

 

An overview of the situation:

  * Day One: After calls to many different insect experts across the country, I found a man in Puerto Rico willing to ship me insects infected with the virus I desired.
  * Day 9: The insects arrived after a week, and I immediately released them in the building.
  * Day 10-13: For the first few days, things went as I had expected.
  * Day 14-18: The next few days after that, the insects seemed to stop dying, and instead start to multiply at a rate seemingly faster than before.
  * Day 19: Long dead insects on my floor seemed to disappear.



 

On day twenty, I found what I feared. That thing being what appeared to be an army of undead cockroaches living underneath my bed. It seems that instead of killing the insects for good, the virus appeared to have turned them into some sort of super-insect zombies. While I would normally jump at an opportunity to encounter something such as thing, I think we can all agree that this was far from the most desirable outcome.

 

I do not look forward to breaking this news to Fiddleford tomorrow. Hopefully, he hasn’t noticed anything yet on his own.

 

* * *

 

**Entry #4**

 

It turns out that Fiddleford, had, infact, noticed the zombie-insects already. His superstitious mind had apparently led him to believe they were some sort of punishment sent by either God or the Devil up until this point, but upon hearing that their cause was my abysmal failure, he calmed down and instead became incredibly frustrated with me.

 

After he got done telling me about how stupid he knew my idea was and scolding me for even attempting it (Which I do not agree with, as it would have worked if not for the zombie-fication), he settled down and began to detail the machine he was working on.

 

Fiddleford told me that after he had initially shot down my plan, he had begun working on a robotic extermination machine that would drive around the dorm and destroy any bugs that it found. He said that with a few modifications, it could also be used to kill the undead insects I have accidentally created.

 

After I finish writing this, I will soon join him in his room to begin working on it. I’m looking forward to seeing it done.

 

* * *

 

**Entry #5**

 

The robot was a success! It has▓completely eradica▓▓██▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

▓▓▓████▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓████▓▓▒░

 

* * *

 

**Entry #6**

 

If someone other than myself happens to be reading this in the future, you are probably wondering why entry number five has been almost completely reduced to ash. There is a simple explanation for this: The entire top floor of the building has exploded and everything inside caught fire.

 

It is out now, but due to this turn of events, the other students living on the top floor of the dorm are rightfully incredibly angry with Fiddleford and I. While luckily there were enough open beds for most of the other students on the top floor, my roommate was still stuck with me until Fiddleford offered to trade with him.

 

Currently, I am sitting in the remains of my bedroom while Fiddleford attempts to hang a tarp over what used to be the roof. While I enjoy sharing a room with my friend, I do not enjoy the prospect of spending the rest of the year in a room that has been charred excessively. I suppose, however, it is what I have brought upon myself. At the very least, I hope the walls don’t cave in on me while I sleep.

 

The last thing I will say is this: Despite what has happened, I will not rescind my declaration of success on the part of the robot. The fact that it malfunctioned after it had completed its duty and exploded into a burst of flames does not erase that it has, in fact, destroyed all insects in the building. I wish I could enjoy this more than I currently am.  


**Author's Note:**

> I will try to write two more stories by the end of March.


End file.
